Bless your heart girl. I was with a cocaine addict 20 yrs ago for 8 yrs...rollercoaster ride it was..up, down, clean, unclean, disappearing acts to go shootup. Never do I want to have to spend years on end trying to fix a man. If he is broke, let him fix hisself...if he drinks everyday..get out ahead of time! Don't ever tell a man what you won't put up with, cause they will hide that trait for months and slowly incorporate it into your life...I know...I have finally wised up after 25 yrs??? lol
If a man calls you 15-25 times a day or more, there is some sort of dependency there too.......look out!!! I was warned like I am warning you, but I didn't pay attention till it was too late!
Quoting Arizona53
Having been married to an alcoholic for 24 years.....yeah I know, I should have given up sooner......I gave him every chance to clean up his act. As for me, I never touched a drop, not even wine with dinner for about 15 of those years.
A subsequent relationship revealed itself to be the same type of guy, but, he was just a liar and slid his drinking habits in very slowly hoping I wouldn't catch on! Not likely! I'd rather be single and alone than be with someone who needs fixing.....and mostly because I think that the only person who can fix or otherwise control you....is you!
Now I am hoping that I really can attract the type of person that doesn't abuse anything, someone who is like me......But, then not exactly like me because that would just be boring and he'd be a she....LOL!
Quoting Arizona53
Having been married to an alcoholic for 24 years.....yeah I know, I should have given up sooner......I gave him every chance to clean up his act. As for me, I never touched a drop, not even wine with dinner for about 15 of those years.
A subsequent relationship revealed itself to be the same type of guy, but, he was just a liar and slid his drinking habits in very slowly hoping I wouldn't catch on! Not likely! I'd rather be single and alone than be with someone who needs fixing.....and mostly because I think that the only person who can fix or otherwise control you....is you!
Now I am hoping that I really can attract the type of person that doesn't abuse anything, someone who is like me......But, then not exactly like me because that would just be boring and he'd be a she....LOL!
Bless your heart girl. I was with a cocaine addict 20 yrs ago for 8 yrs...rollercoaster ride it was..up, down, clean, unclean, disappearing acts to go shootup. Never do I want to have to spend years on end trying to fix a man. If he is broke, let him fix hisself...if he drinks everyday..get out ahead of time! Don't ever tell a man what you won't put up with, cause they will hide that trait for months and slowly incorporate it into your life...I know...I have finally wised up after 25 yrs??? lol
If a man calls you 15-25 times a day or more, there is some sort of dependency there too.......look out!!! I was warned like I am warning you, but I didn't pay attention till it was too late!
I was reading :) I also worked 11 hours yesterday and it will be 10 today...my brain was too foggy to think of anything but work. But I turned on my porch light for you at this comment..."talking on the phone and drinking wine". [How did they know where I live??]
I was reading :) I also worked 11 hours yesterday and it will be 10 today...my brain was too foggy to think of anything but work. But I turned on my porch light for you at this comment..."talking on the phone and drinking wine". [How did they know where I live??]
Lisa....yep....good thing I learn from my mistakes. When I see red flags now, I turn and walk in the other direction. I didn't have much time invested in the subsequent relationship so it was easily remedied, although I seem to be on the losing end money wise in all of them......LOL!
And then the good news is.....I have nothing left to lose.....the next one should be a Cake Walk.....LMAO!
Seriously though, I won't give up....he's out there.....somewhere!
Quoting Lisaprendergast
I am so sorry... it blows to find yourself in the same place over and over again. I have been told I make my own reality. The smarter I gat the luckier I become. Red flags need to be acknowledged, embraced and gratefully accepted when repeatedly thrown in your lap. I love drunks, they are fun , creative and usually far from ordinary. Also, they create a land mine of failures where ever they go. Yours, mine.... every person who's life they touch. Passion is relative, wild and crazy love is intoxicating. Unfortunately those feelings are short lived. This post is truly directed at all the friends in my life who want something more yet are unwilling to be as much as they want. It will not work. Lying is foolhardy, If you want more... be more. If you get dumped because of bad habits, you were dumped because of bad habits. Simple.... Best Lisa
Quoting Lisaprendergast
I am so sorry... it blows to find yourself in the same place over and over again. I have been told I make my own reality. The smarter I gat the luckier I become. Red flags need to be acknowledged, embraced and gratefully accepted when repeatedly thrown in your lap. I love drunks, they are fun , creative and usually far from ordinary. Also, they create a land mine of failures where ever they go. Yours, mine.... every person who's life they touch. Passion is relative, wild and crazy love is intoxicating. Unfortunately those feelings are short lived. This post is truly directed at all the friends in my life who want something more yet are unwilling to be as much as they want. It will not work. Lying is foolhardy, If you want more... be more. If you get dumped because of bad habits, you were dumped because of bad habits. Simple.... Best Lisa
Lisa....yep....good thing I learn from my mistakes. When I see red flags now, I turn and walk in the other direction. I didn't have much time invested in the subsequent relationship so it was easily remedied, although I seem to be on the losing end money wise in all of them......LOL!
And then the good news is.....I have nothing left to lose.....the next one should be a Cake Walk.....LMAO!
Seriously though, I won't give up....he's out there.....somewhere!
"The best way to predict the future....Is to create it."
Having been married to an alcoholic for 24 years.....yeah I know, I should have given up sooner......I gave him every chance to clean up his act. As for me, I never touched a drop, not even wine with dinner for about 15 of those years.
A subsequent relationship revealed itself to be the same type of guy, but, he was just a liar and slid his drinking habits in very slowly hoping I wouldn't catch on! Not likely! I'd rather be single and alone than be with someone who needs fixing.....and mostly because I think that the only person who can fix or otherwise control you....is you!
Now I am hoping that I really can attract the type of person that doesn't abuse anything, someone who is like me......But, then not exactly like me because that would just be boring and he'd be a she....LOL!
Having been married to an alcoholic for 24 years.....yeah I know, I should have given up sooner......I gave him every chance to clean up his act. As for me, I never touched a drop, not even wine with dinner for about 15 of those years.
A subsequent relationship revealed itself to be the same type of guy, but, he was just a liar and slid his drinking habits in very slowly hoping I wouldn't catch on! Not likely! I'd rather be single and alone than be with someone who needs fixing.....and mostly because I think that the only person who can fix or otherwise control you....is you!
Now I am hoping that I really can attract the type of person that doesn't abuse anything, someone who is like me......But, then not exactly like me because that would just be boring and he'd be a she....LOL!
"The best way to predict the future....Is to create it."
That's right. Only another drunk will put up with such behavior, and then they usually fight like cats and dogs. Same for drugs, but usually with less fighting.
Quoting Lisaprendergast
I guess there are jerks both male and female. I have a friend who is beautiful, smart and hopelessly alone. She drinks her dinner. She sits at home talking on the phone and drinking wine. I have said if she wants someone in her life best chose a drunk, he won't mind her drinking. Nope, she wants a successful healthy man. I can't think of one single man that has his shit together that wants to mop up that puddle regularly. Unfortunately women tend to cling on to dysfunctional men... going to save him, change him. That is a whole new subject for a different post. For my purpose here I believe the only kind of man who will look the other way from a drinkers bad behavior is a drunk himself. Best Lisa
Quoting Lisaprendergast
I guess there are jerks both male and female. I have a friend who is beautiful, smart and hopelessly alone. She drinks her dinner. She sits at home talking on the phone and drinking wine. I have said if she wants someone in her life best chose a drunk, he won't mind her drinking. Nope, she wants a successful healthy man. I can't think of one single man that has his shit together that wants to mop up that puddle regularly. Unfortunately women tend to cling on to dysfunctional men... going to save him, change him. That is a whole new subject for a different post. For my purpose here I believe the only kind of man who will look the other way from a drinkers bad behavior is a drunk himself. Best Lisa
That's right. Only another drunk will put up with such behavior, and then they usually fight like cats and dogs. Same for drugs, but usually with less fighting.
